One effective technique to reduce self-sabotage is to change how we frame our experiences. Instead of saying “I am,” try saying “A part of me.” This subtle shift can help you reclaim your power and separate your identity from your actions.

This phrase “a part  of me” helps create perceived distance between you, your feelings and your actions. Let’s explore how this small linguistic change can have a significant impact:

1/ Detachment

Using “a part of me” helps detach your identity from specific behaviours or feelings. For example:

– Saying, “A part of me feels anxious,” acknowledges the feeling without letting it define you as an anxious person. This detachment is crucial because it prevents you from internalising temporary emotions as permanent traits.

– This detachment can reduce the intensity of negative emotions, making it easier to manage them. Instead of being consumed by anxiety, you recognise it as just one part of your current experience.

2/ Self-Compassion

“A part of me” promotes self-compassion, an essential component of mental well-being.

– Recognising that a part of you is struggling allows you to address that part with kindness and understanding. Instead of harsh self-criticism, you can respond with empathy.

– For instance, instead of saying, “I am lazy,” you can say, “A part of me feels unmotivated right now.” This shift encourages a more compassionate approach to self-improvement, focusing on understanding and addressing the underlying issues rather than blaming yourself.

3/ Perspective

“A part of me” provides perspective, helping you see the bigger picture.

– Viewing your feelings and actions as parts of a whole helps you avoid getting bogged down by one aspect of your experience. This broader perspective is especially helpful during challenging times.

– For example, saying, “A part of me is frustrated with this project,” acknowledges the frustration but also leaves room for other parts of you that might feel determined or creative. This balanced view can lead to more constructive problem-solving.

Impact on Business Owners

As a business owner, using “a part of me” can impact your business success in a positive way.

1/ Improved decision making:

By detaching your identity from your feelings, you can make more objective decisions. Instead of thinking, “I can’t decide. I don’t know the answer,” say, “A part of me can’t decide and doesn’t know the answer.” This allows you to approach the problem as something that can be managed rather than a fixed part of your identity. This objectivity can lead to better problem-solving, in fact you become a solution finder, as you can explore what other parts of you think and feel about the same situation. This leads to a more effective way of decision making as it is through and leaves less room for doubt. 

2/ Enhanced Leadership

Self-compassion and perspective are critical for effective leadership.

Leaders who practice self-compassion are better equipped to extend compassion to their teams. Saying, “A part of me is stressed about this deadline,” shows vulnerability and authenticity, fostering a supportive work environment. Additionally, maintaining perspective helps you stay resilient. Recognising that a part of you feels overwhelmed, but not all of you, can help you stay focused and motivated, even during challenging times.

3/ Personal Growth

By acknowledging different parts of yourself, you create opportunities for growth and development. For example, saying, “A part of me needs to improve in marketing,” opens the door for learning and improvement without self-judgement. This growth based mindset can drive innovation and adaptability, key traits for thriving in today’s business landscape.

How to Use This Technique

Start incorporating “a part of me” into your self-talk. Here are some practical steps to get started:

1/ Acknowledge Feelings:

– Instead of “I am overwhelmed,” say, “A part of me feels overwhelmed right now.” This validates your feelings without letting them define your entire state of being.

2/ Identify Behaviours:

– Instead of “I always procrastinate,” say, “A part of me tends to procrastinate.” This helps you recognize the behaviour as a pattern you can change, rather than a fixed characteristic.

3/ Shift Blame

– Instead of “I am a failure,” say, “A part of me feels like a failure.” This reframes the situation, allowing other parts of self to feel other things and offers an opportunity to gain perspective. 

4/ Practice Regularly

– Consistency is key. Regularly practising this technique can rewire your brain to naturally adopt a more balanced and compassionate self-view.

In conclusion…

Using “a part of me” helps you separate your identity from feelings and actions, giving you the power to address them constructively. This linguistic shift promotes detachment, self-compassion, and perspective, all of which are essential for personal and professional growth. As a business owner, adopting this mindset can lead to improved decision-making, enhanced leadership, and continuous personal development.

Start today by consciously incorporating “a part of me” into your self-talk. This small change can have a profound impact on your mindset, actions, and overall business success.

Until next time,

Best wishes

Philippa x