When things don’t go to plan, it’s easy to get caught up in the drama. Emotions run high, and suddenly, you’re not just dealing with the problem but also the stress, frustration, and self-doubt that comes with it. But what if you could step back and view the situation as an observer rather than a participant?
This shift in perspective can be transformative. Here’s how to cultivate the observer mindset:
1. Pause before reacting:
When something goes wrong, your first instinct might be to react immediately. However, taking a moment to pause can make all the difference. Breathe deeply and remind yourself that you don’t have to respond right away. This pause creates space for a more measured and thoughtful approach.
2. Notice your emotions:
This doesn’t mean ignoring your feelings but rather recognising them without letting them control you. Ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now, and why?” Naming your emotions can help you separate them from the situation and see things more objectively.
3. Ask neutral questions:
Instead of spiraling into self-blame or frustration, ask neutral, solution-focused questions: “What’s really happening here?” “What are my options?” “What’s the next best step?” “What’s this all about?” “Why has this come up today?” These questions shift your focus from the problem to potential solutions. Remember to ask them with a compassionate and curious tone and not one of blame, shame and judgement.
4. Visualise the bigger picture:
Imagine you’re watching the situation unfold as a movie. What advice would you give to the main character? This exercise helps you gain a broader perspective and approach the issue with more clarity and less emotion.
5. Create space:
Actually taking yourself physically away from where the challenge/drama is unfolding, can be enough to let a part of you gain a different perspective. This different perspective quite often is where the solution is found. Staying in the place and in the energy of where things aren’t going to plan is not helpful.
If you can’t physically remove yourself, you can still create space by getting your thoughts and feelings out of your head. I have written a blog about the importance of getting things out of your head so do give that a read too.
Benefits of being the observer:
- Improved Decision-Making: You’re less likely to make impulsive choices driven by emotion.
- Reduced Stress: Viewing challenges objectively can make them feel less overwhelming.
- Enhanced Resilience: The more you practice this mindset, the better equipped you’ll be to handle future setbacks.
When things don’t go to plan, becoming the observer allows you to respond with wisdom and clarity rather than reacting out of stress or frustration. It’s a skill that takes practice but pays dividends in both your business and personal life. Give it a go and let me know how you get on.
Until next time,
Best wishes
Philippa x